I’ve read enough articles to know that men should always do the “little” things in order to keep things fresh, new and exciting. Where in the RBOD (Rule Book of Dating) does it say, Rule 35.1A: Only Men Must Adhere To The Little Things? That’s like stating Rule 68.9B: Women Must Cook and Clean is fact! However, if that’s the agreement you have, then yes, he better step up to the plate and reciprocate! I will also give MOST women credit that they are generous and nurturing creatures by nature so the little things come easy to them. But let’s be honest and fair, it takes two to tango and if you are not willing to put your dancing shoes on for me, I’m certainly not going to lace mine up so willingly. Here are a few suggestions to meet your end of the bargain in keeping the romance and relationship where you want it to be:
Stay The Course
If you have been sweet from the get go, don’t change now just because you “have” him. If you are a sexual diva in the boudoir, keep it up or elevate your game to the next level. We may not be so quick on the uptake at times but the drop off in the norm we can detect. Consistency, not just maintenance, is a critical key in making a relationship go from good to great! The only roller coaster you should be riding is the one in Disney or in your own private amusement park!
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Give Him A Surprise
Just like you love flowers unexpectedly or a note in your lunch or on your car, what makes you think we wouldn’t like that either? Leave a note by his keys (sprayed with your perfume) about how much you can’t wait to see him later or that you have a few naughty things you want to try later and hope he’s okay with that . Call him at work and say I know you have been working so hard lately, let me take you out to your favorite restaurant or sports bar so you don’t miss the game either! If you want to hit a home run and have your ears ringing for all the right reasons the next day or week, these things are can’t miss softballs I’m tossing to you!
Listen, Listen, Listen
One of woman’s biggest complaints is that men do not listen enough. Here is your chance to show us that you listen too. By listening, I don’t mean putting that certain event or date in the vacuum sealed vault in your head for safe keeping and then unload it as ammunition! Maybe your husband or boyfriend wants a new tool, sweatshirt or accessory for his car. Maybe he’s been wanting a guy’s night out but respects your time together and doesn’t want to rock the boat. Well, captain my captain, take the wheel and make it happen! If it’s something of value, put some funds aside for his gift or tell him you will meet him halfway. If it’s a tame night of debauchery with the fellas, call his best buddy up and say he needs this and you would love for him to organize it. Not only will your significant other appreciate this endlessly, you will raise yourself many levels in his friends eyes and that is never a bad thing!
Make Quality Time Count
Who doesn’t love good old fashioned quality time together? When no one else is around and the world doesn’t matter? Be just as attentive to him as you want him to be to you, if he doesn’t do so already. Sometimes couples fall into a rut of complacency. Nip that in the bud as soon as you recognize it. Let him know how much it means to you to be with him in those quiet moments or how good it feels to have someone like him in your life to share in these special times, even if it is after a decade of marriage. We may not admit to liking that “sappy” stuff but in our hearts, we truly do appreciate those sentiments. Being cute, cuddly and affectionate at home and showing the world how much you love, admire and respect your man when you are out together makes us feel like kings!
In the grand scheme of things, if your expectations are not being met, you may have to be the one to start that dialogue and have a heart to heart. The little things do go a long way in both our rule books whether you think so or not. In the game of love, it’s not about wins and losses but about what you do when you show up to play. What was your plan? How did you feel when it all came together? If you felt like the strategy didn’t work, go back and review the tapes to see where changes could be made or maybe have a team meeting.
I always tell my partner we are a team and for us to succeed, we need to be good to each other and be on the same page on most of the really important things. It’s okay to disagree because no one is always right but if you screw up, own up to it. It’s not about feeling vindicated but about respecting my feelings. I’ll respect you more if you apologize instead of sweeping it under the already lumpy carpet from your previous missteps instead of thinking I won’t notice.
In an ideal relationship, you get back what you put into it. Don’t sit back and make excuses that he doesn’t do those things for me. Maybe he did do them for you and you just took them for granted and didn’t realize it. Men have a lot of expectations placed on them and when we don’t meet said expectations, we look like the bad guys. In some cases, yes, it has happened. But before you go pointing fingers, remember for every finger you point, there are always three pointing right back at you. Now go out there and win one for the Gipper!